


Uneven Odds

by ImagineYourself



Series: A Thousand Unfinished Books [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: A heck ton of it, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Feels, Fluff, Guardian Angels, M/M, Minor canon divergence, Post-Season/Series 08, Pre-Series, Season/Series 04, Songfic, Stars, Symbolism, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-11 23:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3336992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineYourself/pseuds/ImagineYourself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He sat to the side, resting regal on a park bench as a young boy with not so innocent green eyes was beside him, engrossed in a comic book. Every few panels or so he would flick his gaze up and search the playground for that tiny human bundle, now a house for raw energy, all buck teeth, unruly brown hair, and bright smiles. Castiel would stay by him, protecting silently and invisibly until his father would pull up in his car that was too loud, but that the children could hear from miles away, accepting unlocked doors sometimes with smiles and sometimes with sighs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uneven Odds

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Uneven Odds by Sleeping At Last, whose album Atlas: Year One I am utterly obsessed with and cannot stop listening to it, it's so goddamn good. But this song hit me hard on my way home today and I immediately sat down and wrote this. The lyrics are a little mixed up at the end, but it fits better. Anyway, enjoy!

_I once knew your father well_

_He fought tears as he spoke of your mother's health_

_I guess a part of him just couldn’t return_

_Forgiveness is a lesson he cursed you to learn_

Castiel watched with heavy eyes as a small boy ran from a burning house. It seemed simple at first, a child trying to survive against a force of nature that he had no control over, nor probably could understand. But the longer he watched, the more he realized, nothing was ever that simple. In the boy's arms was a bundle of even younger flesh, and behind him ran out a man, face tear streaked with soot and hands empty. Castiel was still as he watched the three, eyes reflecting the orange glow of their home, and he stood by as they whispered goodbye, driving away without looking back.

He continued like that for many years.

He sat to the side, resting regal on a park bench as a young boy with not so innocent green eyes was beside him, engrossed in a comic book. Every few panels or so he would flick his gaze up and search the playground for that tiny human bundle, now a house for raw energy, all buck teeth, unruly brown hair, and bright smiles. Castiel would stay by him, protecting silently and invisibly until his father would pull up in his car that was too loud, but that the children could hear from miles away, accepting unlocked doors sometimes with smiles and sometimes with sighs.

Even then, Castiel was at his side. Those green eyes were never the wiser when he helped out as a werewolf crept up behind the now teenager. Nor did they know when Castiel flapped his wings, providing a breeze on a hot day in South Dakota. Or even when a fourth and unknown vampire was silently taken care of in a dark house in the woods of the west. Lake creatures never even had a chance to latch to an ankle or an elbow that didn't belong to them. Demons never saw the light of Hell again as they were exterminated miles away from his charge.

Yet even as Castiel stood by and gave his grace whenever needed, he could not help the tendrils of darkness that slowly strangled those bright eyes. He knew of his father's plan, and though he grew to hate it as time passed and the small child grew into a man, he could do nothing to stave the tears that escaped behind that man's closed lids and fell to the ground like they had never existed. But Castiel knew they had. And he picked them up and carried them close everywhere he went. He held them tight as he watched bullets fly and demons' eyes.

He clung to them as invisible enemies tore the skin from his charge's chest, a reminder of what was to come.

And he flung them high into the sky, forming new stars and constellations that only he knew existed, just before diving down and through the gates.

_As your guardian I was instructed well_

_To make sense of God’s love in these fires of hell_

_ No I don’t expect you to understand _

_Just to live what little life your broken heart can_

He didn't wish to acknowledge it, but it hurt just a little when he finally revealed himself and the only thing in Dean's eyes was distrust and confusion. There was no recognition, no joy, no wonder or awe. He supposed he shouldn't have expected anything different from a man who had just spent forty years in Hell. For that, Castiel felt another tug. He was only supposed to be there ten years, but the darkness and the fires almost grew to be too much for Castiel, and it took him far longer than planned. He had almost given up at one point, sure that it was truly God's will to let them both perish below. But once he'd seen the tiniest glimpse of the Righteous Man, he could not stop.

It also took far longer than expected for Dean to finally smile at him. Longer still for the man to trust him, something which often made Castiel laugh to himself. He had known this human since he was just a tiny thing, eyes wide and curious and trying to take in the world from every possible angle. But the man before Castiel was old now, older than he should have been, and his eyes were no longer curious but calculating, always hiding what he was truly thinking about. Castiel constantly found himself still by Dean's side as much as he could, unaware usually when he was visible or not, still accustomed to being close to the man from their years together before.

Dean, of course, did not know of that, and never would. Not unless Castiel told him.

_Maybe your light is a seed_

_And the darkness the dirt_

_In spite of the uneven odds_

_ Beauty lifts from the earth _

It was a Wednesday when Castiel arrived outside of Sioux Falls. He had no need to appear suddenly in Bobby Singer's living room as he already knew his charge was outside, but he did it out of habit. Sam, now grown, heart still gentle though he had become hard from the life he'd already lived, simply waved his hand in the direction of the backyard and hid a smile behind his book that Castiel saw anyway. The angel nodded his head in thanks and took the long way out by foot. The door clattered shut behind him and in the distance he could see a dark form laying on a patch of grass, arms folded behind his head.

Castiel was not quiet as he approached, footsteps crunching and announcing his presence. Still, Dean didn't even look over at him until Castiel was standing above him, obscuring the view of the night sky. “Hello, Dean,” he said quietly.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean's eyes picked out his features in the dark before returning to the stars. “Whatcha doing here?”

Tilting his head back to look up as well, Castiel mumbled, “Do you mind if I join you?”

“Catch a break from upstairs?” Dean shifted slightly to scratch his side before settling back again. “Yeah, man, take a seat. Plenty of sky to go around.”

Castiel took his time in laying down beside Dean, making sure to keep appropriate space between them as the man liked. His hands were folded across his stomach as he let his eyes wander the skies which he had flown through many times before. It took him but moments to catch the tiniest hints of light towards the north which were the telltale signs of the little balls of light he had made to honor Dean.

“Dean?” he asked before he could stop himself.

“Yeah?”

There was a rustle as Dean turned his head and Castiel turned his own, their eyes meeting. “Can I show you something?”

“Sure.” The human raised a brow but shrugged one shoulder.

Castiel lifted one arm, his finger out to point at Dean's stars. “Do you see those tiny bits of light over there?”

“Uhh, no? Which ones?” Dean asked, craning his neck. They both ended up moving closer until their shoulders were pressed together and Dean had his hand up also, trying to match where Castiel was pointing.

“There are several in a small cluster, all very small, but you can see them if you look carefully. Right up there.”

“You mean the ones kind of scattered in a line?”

“Yes.” Castiel lowered his arm, content in knowing that Dean had seen them, and smiled briefly.

“What about them?” Dean asked, his arm falling as well, though he didn't move away.

When Castiel turned his head, he was almost surprised to find Dean's face right there in front of him, so close that their breath was mingling. “They are your stars.”

“My stars? The hell does that mean?” The hunter's eyes narrowed.

Castiel felt his lips curl sadly. “I made them from your tears that I collected. I threw them up before my journey to Hell to bring you back.”

Dean was silent for a long moment before he spluttered, “What the hell? You mean you knew me before that all happened?”

“I have known you since you were born, Dean,” the angel told him quietly, his gaze moving back to the stars.

“So what, you're like my actual guardian angel?”

“Something like that,” Castiel said mildly. Dean turned away, a frown marring his features. He was silent for so long that Castiel almost wanted to enter his mind just to see what he was thinking, but decided against it. “What's wrong?” he finally asked instead.

“Do other people have guardian angels, too?”

Castiel was taken aback slightly at the question. “Only some. Why do you ask?”

Dean snorted a bitter laugh. “Why do I get one then?”

Looking at him in confusion, Castiel said, “Because you are special,” as if it explained everything, because to the angel, it did.

“Special? That's it?”

“You are angry about this?” Castiel didn't understand where the sudden hardness in Dean's tone had come from. He sat up on his elbows to watch Dean's face more carefully.

Dean rose fully, though, criss-crossing his legs and leaning his elbows on his knees. “I'm not angry,” he said hotly. “I just... what the fuck did I ever do to get a freaking angel looking after me, huh? I went to Hell for Christ's sake.”

“Unlike most, your reasons for going to Hell were pure of heart.”

“What's that matter? I still went and I still tortured other people.”

Castiel relaxed back into the grass, arms at his sides. “Your soul is one of the brightest and most beautiful I have ever seen. And I have seen many souls, Dean. It was for that reason that I was able to bring you back. That light guided me and in turn I pulled you from the dark and back to earth.”

“What if I had just become part of the darkness...” Dean mumbled, seemingly more to himself than to Castiel.

The angel looked over his back, shoulders heavy with thought. “You didn't,” he said simply.

_You’ll always remember the moment God took her away_

_For the weight of the world was placed on your shoulders that day_

The shift in time felt simply like walking through a doorway for Castiel. He knew that if Dean was with him the man would be complaining and stomping around like a child. Castiel smiled at the thought. It fell from his face as he remembered why he was there, and he strode down the street with purpose, a glowing neon sign in the distance his destination. He remembered this night well and knew that at this time, his younger self was sitting beside a ten year old Dean. It was to the same boy's side he was traveling now, knowing his previous self would not interfere in the task he had to perform.

As expected, young Dean was frowning as he kneeled beside his brother, who was sleeping soundly. The wing wrapped gently around his shoulders slowly retracted as the younger Castiel noticed his approach and backed off. Castiel remembered the moment and smiled to himself, thanking him silently for realizing this must have been something momentous if he were to go back in time for it.

Dean didn't look up even as Castiel crouched beside him, lips close to the boy's ear. In his ear, he whispered just a few simple words. Immediately, Dean looked around, confused and alarmed, unsure when he realized there was no one else in the room since both angels had veiled themselves. It was the night after the shtriga had nearly taken Sam's life and Dean had almost been to negligent to realize. It was for that reason he was beside his brother, not quite praying, but hoping and wishing. Hoping his brother would not be taken from him like his mother had been. Wishing he could be stronger.

Castiel got to his feet, allowing the boy to watch the room carefully. The angel stepped to the table, where a book Dean had been reading earlier was sitting. It took little effort to place something inside and then let the book fall to the floor. Castiel turned and flew back into the present, leaving the child to find the note left for him, sure he would because he'd already seen him do so.

_You’re much too young now_

_So I write these words down,_

“ _Darkness exists to make light truly count.”_

A thirty-five year old Dean lay sleeping in his bed in the bunker when Castiel returned to him, slipping inside with practice and moving silently down the halls. It was dark in the room but the click of the door as it closed woke the man with a slight jump and blink of his eyes. He felt around the bed for a moment before yawning.

“Cas, that you?” he asked groggily, voice heavy with sleep. He reached over to his lamp, switching it on with one hand and blinking when the bulb suddenly lit and revealed Castiel standing near the foot of the bed. “What are you doing? Come back to bed.”

“I had to run an errand,” the angel said softly, smiling as he took off his coat and his shoes.

“Yeah? Anything important?” Dean watched him undress and then pulled the covers down on Castiel's side so that he could crawl in.

Castiel greeted him with a sweetly gentle kiss and then reached across to turn the lamp off again, settling into Dean's side with an arm around him. “Very important. But now it's done. Go back to sleep, Dean.” The human hummed and curled against him, falling asleep within seconds. Castiel breathed evenly and quickly followed into a dreamless sleep, the imprints of the light bulb and Dean's eyes showing behind his lids.

_Maybe your light is a seed_

_And the darkness the dirt_

_In spite of the uneven odds_

_ Beauty lifts from the earth _

**Author's Note:**

> Also, if you listen to the song and like it, Neptune, Saturn and Venus all by Sleeping At Last give me all kinds of Destiel feels ugh my poor heart.


End file.
